One

Oh how I love the Christmas season! I find it strange that my eagerness and enthusiasm at this time of year continues to grow. I would think that my younger years would have been the most exciting, the most magical of all the years of Christmas. I have concluded that it must be related to my testimony and love for Jesus Christ. As I have continued to grow in regards to that relationship, so has my love of this Christmas season. Bring on the lights, music, magic and love! I love this time of year!

  I am a recently aware Introvert. I have touched on this subject here once before. Going from thinking that I am strange to believing instead that I am strong in a quiet way is a difficult thought pattern to change. I have felt and told myself that I am strange for a very long time. Growing up I would watch my siblings play and think to myself "that looks so fun" but when I would join in their play I would wonder "why is this not fun?". This is in no way a negative reflection on my siblings or my family life. I had a great home, great parents, great siblings that are actually quite funny and wonderful to be around. Therefore, by my very inexperienced deductive reasoning, I concluded that there must be something wrong with me. Over the years I have learned to compensate for my quiet nature that revels in solitude. The problem with compensating and acting against my true self was that it made me feel like I was doing something wrong that needed to be hidden.

A week and a half ago I received a phone call asking if I would speak in the Sunday session of our Stake Conference tomorrow. I was hesitant for personal reasons, but accepted the assignment anyway. One early morning shortly after the call, I woke to words running through my head. I knew the Lord was giving me the words to my talk. I was taught day after day as I read and studied and wrote. I had several personal hardships along the way which usually stunt inspiration, yet it continued to flow. I am so grateful for that experience. Having finished my talk early, I decided to go to the temple yesterday to calm my nerves. I came home feeling peaceful and ready. Then I received a phone call from my Stake President informing me that the agenda for the weekend had been changed and my talk was no longer necessary. Truthfully, I felt completely deflated and hurt. I had given this talk my all for the last week and a half. Hours and hours of study and work and practicing as I geared myself up

I was asked to speak in sacrament last week. Posting the results here so that I may return and learn from it again at some future date. Having just celebrated Pioneer Day and with the upcoming Pioneer Trek for our youth, we turn our thoughts back in time to those that made it possible for us to be sitting here today, the ones that have gone before us in life. Webster's Dictionary defines the word pioneer as "To go before, to prepare or open a way for others to follow". Being the oldest of eight children in my family, I naturally had several 'pioneer' moments growing up. The earliest one when I left my siblings at home to play while I went off to start school. Then the day I was Baptized comes to mind, after that learning to drive, requesting my patriarchal blessing, getting married, and to even the most recent distinct pioneer moment when we had to let my Dad go and it was time to leave the hospital. After living for 5 days in the waiting room of the thor

A friend recently gave me a bracelet with a bead of the Cherry Blossom. Little did she know that this is one of my many favorites in life. I love the arrangement of the five almost white petals and the spray of dark pink emerging from the center. I love that they bloom on the branch of a tree and I love that it is a symbol of something deeper in the Asian cultures. My interest in these naturally quiet cultures has only increased by having three kids in the Chinese program at our local elementary school. Here is a little more about the meaning of this cute little flower... China considers the cherry blossom to be a representation of feminine beauty. The Japanese see it as a representation of the beauty and fragility of life. The season of the cherry blossom corresponds to the calendar and fiscal years in Japan. This marks the start of new beginnings, like a pupil's first day in school or a person's first day at work. The intensity and liveliness of the cherry b

 Sometimes there are days when the most welcome sight is that of the setting of the sun. On these days, I generally offer a simple prayer of gratitude for the opportunity to start again tomorrow. Good night today.........

(Taken by my talented mother-I am forever grateful to her for capturing such moments) As previously mentioned, I believe in magic. I also believe that when we recognize magic in our lives then we have seen the hand of God working in our favor. The tricky part is slowing down enough to make note of such times and to take what God intended from these moments and learn from them. I am grateful to the Father for teaching me in ways that I best understand what is given. From the very beginning, Father Adam was commanded to “call upon God in the name of the Son forevermore” ( Moses 5:8 ). Men and women of integrity, character, and purpose have ever recognized a power higher than themselves and have sought through prayer to be guided by such power. Such has it ever been. So shall it ever be. Well might the younger generation ask, “But what about today? Does he still hear? Does he continue to answer?” To which I promptly reply: “There is no expiration date on the Lord’s injunctio

I recently went to see the new Cinderella film that is now playing in theaters. I fell completely in love once more with this classic childhood fairytale. I have always loved and found quite relate-able the character of Cinderella. Being number one in the lineup of eight kids, naturally I had to help and work as a child, and as childhoods are meant to do, this helped mold me into who I am today. I may procrastinate starting a job, but I know how to work and I am grateful for that. Being part of a large family also gave me plenty of reasons to escape to the quiet of my bedroom where books and music became lifelong friends. I was a boring sister to my adventurous brothers. Now that we are grown they don't mind as much since I tend to be the one holding their children so that they may continue to play as adults. Like Disney, why do we like to relive these age old tales? Because they have an effect on the human imagination and the characters in them generally possess desirable

Finding A Voice I may find myself posting on this particular topic more than once in the future. I am reading a fascinating book right now "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain. In the beginning of the book there is a true/false quiz to help the reader identify if they are an introvert or an extrovert. I am most definitely an introvert. Knowing this about myself, and knowing that it is OK be so, has helped me in untold ways. Through research and personal experiences of the author as well as many others she has interviewed, Susan Cain takes the reader back in time to view how America has become an extrovert nation and how it continues to value and promote the Extrovert Ideal. She notes several times that this isn't a bad thing, quite the contrary, there are multiple positives for both the extrovert individual as well as the introvert individual. She also notes how they both can compliment each other in working toge

We are so lucky, despite our trials. This video brings tears to my eyes each time I view it (as I have mentioned before, tears are part of everything lately). I am happy this girl agreed to make this video. She demonstrates courage, which is the making of action in-spite of fear. I have been doing a lot of self evaluation recently. After the passing of my dad I felt as if one of my life's rocks(be it a large and squishy, huggable rock) had been removed. So large of an influence was he that I didn't even realize just how much he held me up until he was gone. Maybe that is how it is for everyone when they lose a parent and I was just very unaware until experiencing it myself. Loss comes in so many forms, not just in death alone. That is why this video spoke directly to my inner stuttering self.  No, I may not suffer from an outward speech impediment as this girl, but I definitely have an inward one that hinders my life's interactions. I have worked so very hard to hide it, ov

My father passed away several months ago. The details are lengthy and irrelevant to the message I wish to convey tonight. Suffice it to say, he was too young and so was I to say goodbye. My heart, having recently been opened once more, wishes to express a deeper gratitude for all the kind acts of service and love that have been given to me and my family. Everyone experiences grief in diverse ways. For me, my senses seemed to go numb with the pain and loss. So many kind words and acts of love were given, while I appreciated every single one of them I just didn't quite grasp their full impact until now and I am overcome with gratitude, to the point of tears spilling over my heart is so full. Tears seem to be the byproduct of the numbness wearing off, but it's ok. They are less bitter when they are full of gratitude. This is really just a reminder post to myself to never discount a good deed or kind word as naught. One never knows the after effects of a kind word or act. Th

Words have been silent for quite sometime now. Grief is numbing and brings silence where it is not wanted. I have been silent inside for so long. I was beginning to wonder if I would ever wake again. The tears still fall. The longing has not left, but a peace resides now within. Love is there and with that love a new hope has emerged. Bright and beautiful. A new understanding lighting the way. "How deep the Father's love for us, How vast beyond all measure That He should give His only Son To make a wretch His treasure" During this grieving process a friend sent me an encouraging note and a link to this talk by Elder Bednar: Bear Up Their Burdens With Ease Heading the advice given, I paid particular attention to the section entitled "The Strengthening Power of the Atonement" At the time, I read and re-read the words hoping to find the healing I needed in them. Nothing happened. Silence. In prayer, silence. In my thoughts, silence. In my heart silence