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Words have been silent for quite sometime now. Grief is numbing and brings silence where it is not wanted. I have been silent inside for so long. I was beginning to wonder if I would ever wake again. The tears still fall. The longing has not left, but a peace resides now within. Love is there and with that love a new hope has emerged. Bright and beautiful. A new understanding lighting the way. "How deep the Father's love for us, How vast beyond all measure That He should give His only Son To make a wretch His treasure" During this grieving process a friend sent me an encouraging note and a link to this talk by Elder Bednar: Bear Up Their Burdens With Ease Heading the advice given, I paid particular attention to the section entitled "The Strengthening Power of the Atonement" At the time, I read and re-read the words hoping to find the healing I needed in them. Nothing happened. Silence. In prayer, silence. In my thoughts, silence. In my heart silence...

This is a belated post. I wrote this April 20, 2014. It is Easter Sunday and I am thinking about Jesus this morning in a brief quiet moment before the kids get up. At the Umbrell house we do the Easter basket thing on Saturday and the kids have always known that it is their parents that hide the baskets and all the goodies and eggs. Grammy and Grandpa joined us last night to watch the hunt. This little family tradition helps us focus only on the Savior on Easter Sunday. My kids have never believed in the Easter Bunny. To some, we might seem like terrible, un-child like, rude parents for never letting our kids believe in the Easter Bunny. I see nothing wrong with this child belief, it just wasn't for us. When my kids were really little but big enough to start to believe, I just couldn't put the two together-Bunny and Christ's resurrection. Even when I thought about Spring and renewal and re-birth, I just couldn't see where the Bunny fit. :) So, that is how our Satur...

Articulation and the correct conveying of an idea is a skill that can be developed beyond the years of elementary learning. I enjoy practicing this skill. I know I could use the addition of some professional learning and critiquing but for my current situation(busy mother of four and wife of a golfer) I will have to be satisfied with the mere practice I receive writing on this blog. There is a gentleman in my neighborhood that claims he is somewhat of a linguist. I don't know if he makes this claim with professional education and training or if, like me, he is a hobbyist. Either way he has made me more aware of the words I use in order to convey a meaning. I live in a heavy populated area of Mormons. I recognize this as a blessing and as a cushion for complacency if I do not keep myself aware. (Side note:(permission to skip granted) I was going to say "this is a blessing and a curse" but thinking back to that idea of correctly conveying meaning, it's not really...

"All learning leads to nothing unless it is centered on finding the roots of truth, which cannot be received without first becoming honest. The only way to find truth is through uncompromising self-education toward self-honesty to see the original “real me,” the child of God, in its innocence and potential in contrast to the influence from the other part of me, “the flesh,” with its selfish desires and foolishness. Only in that state of pure honesty are we able to see truth in its complete dimension." "Elder Enzio F. Busche" (author of "Yearning For The Living God" a fabulous life story and an excellent read!) A recent conversation with a friend of another faith has been bothering me. She was telling me how her daughter was being shunned by another friend because she was hanging out with boys before she was 16. Now, knowing human nature and the follies of such nature, I am sure that this friend was not consciously shunning this girl because of an ag...

(Disclaimer: Please excuse any and all photos that have been taken with my phone. I am not a photographer in any way, nor do I have the patience to sit and edit pictures-that is my mother's talent ;) This was the first year that all of my children stayed home during their Christmas break. Usually they are off to a cousin's or Grandma's, but not this year. It was so nice to all be home together with no piano or ballet or any of the other usual activities that keep me sitting in my car for endless hours. I truly enjoyed every minute. It seems my kids are growing faster all the time and I feel the time I have with them is slipping through my fingers. I am grateful for circumstances that kept us all together this year, right up until the New Year! Which brings me to my post today. I love New Years! I love the whole Holiday season, from the gratitude that comes from Thanksgiving, to the month of focus on the greatest gift of all, Jesus Christ, with a closing of it al...

Day 23 of My gift to Jesus: I am grateful to have experienced and learned through the giving of this gift. I feel like I was more of the receiver from having done so. I saw things in a different light through this process. I looked at complete strangers with a Christlike love that did not come from me. It influenced all my interactions as I kept Christ at the forefront of my mind. A few days were missed, I regret to say, but even at the end of those missed days I still recounted the moments when something could have been said and resolved to do better the next day. For the most part, it became easier to talk of Him. Some promptings at times remained challenging. I hope as I continue to talk and testify of Christ more often, I will be a light to those that come within my circle of influence. Christ lives, He is my anchor in this world of tumult. He is my sure foundation. Merry Christmas

I learned something from yesterday's experience. As I went through my day, naturally each person I encountered became a possibility for testifying to. Each interaction seemed to have more meaning to it as I prayed silently to know if they were the right person for the day. An unexpected softening of my heart was felt with each interaction and a new love was felt for that individual. I believe this new love was Christ's love, or as called in the scriptures, charity-the pure love of Christ. "...if a man be meek and lowly in heart, and confesses by the power of the Holy Ghost that Jesus is the Christ, he must needs have charity; for if he have not charity he is nothing; wherefore he must needs have charity." (Moroni 7:44) I learned that Charity in conjunction with the listening to Holy Spirit is essential in following this personal challenge. When the Spirit whispered which individual it was to be that I should testify to the nerves were still there, but the words to spe...